Bristol Palin, right, daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, is seen with her boyfriend Levi Johnston at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn., Wednesday, Sept. 3, 2008.
Sarah Palin: Do teenage marriages work?
September 11, 2008
At the Republican convention, vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter Bristol, 17, stood on the stage holding hands with her boyfriend, Levi Johnston, 18, father of the baby. According to the campaign, the two teens plan to marry.
These days, first-time brides and grooms tend to be closer to 30 in age than 20. With fewer young people tying the knot, it raises the question: Do teenage marriages work?
The numbers aren't encouraging. A Statistics Canada study published in 2006 found that someone who had wed as a teenager faced twice the risk of marriage breakdown compared to someone who waited until between 25 and 29.
Even if a teenage marriage survives the early stresses of finances and children, family counsellors say, a large pitfall awaits them down the road – growing apart.
"The odd exception lasts, but I wouldn't put my RRSP on it," says Denis Costello, a branch manager at Catholic Family Services.
It's important to tease out some factors, says Lynda Ashbourne, assistant professor in family relations at the University of Guelph.
If the teens lack family stability and support, or if they engage in a high-risk lifestyle, such as drug use, then their chances of success dim further. If marrying young fits culturally and the couple receives family and community support, Ashbourne says, the odds of lasting are a bit better.
While not a teenager when he married, Clarence Lochhead was young: Both he and his bride were 21, long-time sweethearts, when they wed in 1983. They're still married, which Lochhead attributes to their commitment to make it work and to their parents' support.
"If not for that, we might have succumbed to financial pressures," says Lochhead, executive director of the Vanier Institute of the Family. The parents of three, they waited until they were 30 to have a child.
The marriage rate for teenagers – the number of first marriages per 1,000 single people – has plummeted in Canada. In 1956, it was 71.4 for females and 12.9 for males. In 2003, the rate was 3.1 for females and 0.8 for males.
Costello, a clinical social worker, frequently used to see pregnant teen girls and their boyfriends wishing to marry. Now it's rare. "The stigma of illegitimacy is not an issue these days," he says.
When expectant teens do come in for pre-marriage counselling, it's often with tunnel vision, he says. "I try to slow down the stampede, to help them make a good decision."
But it's not always pregnancy propelling them to the altar. It may be to escape difficult situations at home, the two teens clinging to each other for support, searching for stability.
"It could be in reaction to a parent's divorce," says family therapist Ashbourne. "They think they can do a better job, like a do-over."
Or they're simply in love. They've been together since Grade 8 and have graduated or dropped out of high school and want to marry.
These scenarios worry Costello. Marrying too young can stunt a person's development.
"The growth in your twenties is enormous," says Costello. "You're taking in and trying on new personalities. You're beginning to find yourself."
Marriage can be tough enough, he says; better to go in with a secure sense of self. Besides, he's seen the aftermath. A common scenario, he says, is high school sweethearts who marry, get jobs, have children and buy a house with parental help.
"They've got the white picket fence and the kids are in hockey. It looks ideal," says Costello. "Then at age 40 someone has an affair. A restlessness has set in. They wonder, `Is this all there is?'
"They've grown apart. It's a profoundly sad breakdown."